Sunday, December 28, 2014

Surgery and Dating

I'm mad at myself. I was one of those people. I'm talking about the people who start a blog, post twice, and never return. For those of you who read this, I promise that I will actually try to keep this going. I really have a lot to say (I don't ever shut up, even when I should) it's just that finding the motivation to write it all down is somewhat tough. As I said in a previous post, CMT is part of my life, but does not define me. I don't want this to be a medical blog, but rather something about my life for anyone who cares to read.

First things first, I had surgery the other day on my left foot. The surgeon cut the tendons in my four smaller toes to get them to lay down flat. Compared to the other surgery I had previously, this recovery is quite benign. For those of you considering something to straighten your toes, I highly recommend it.

Now for the fun part, for those of you who've had surgery before, or those of you who wear AFOs, this can present particularly interesting challenges in the dating world. Why is it that I don't meet anyone until I have to wear a nice, sexy, post-op Velcro shoe? I certainly wouldn't say I'm super fashionable, but I'd like to say I dress myself well. This shoe is really cramping my style. Anyway, so I told my date that I had surgery, but not that I have a degenerative neurological condition. I never know quite how to say it to someone without sounding...strange. I don't want them to think I'm dying or something. It drives me crazy. But anyway, I will hand it to my date for actually looking at me, instead of my feet when we met. I kinda like them, especially for that.

As a side note, it drives me up the wall when I meet someone and they stare at my feet instead of looking at me. Yes, my feet are strange, but damnit, I'm up here. Please look at me when we are talking. Okay, rant over.

So moving on, I've gone on a few more dates with this person and I'm kind of in a tricky situation. They obviously know I am walking a little strangely because I have a fabulous post-op shoe, but how exactly do I tell them that even when I'm back in normal shoes, I will still walk strangely? I mean, does it really matter? Probably not, but I feel like I'm kind of participating in a bait-and-switch. I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting, and I certainly don't want to be with someone if they can't look past something I have no control over, but I still feel like I need to say something. The struggle is real.

I guess I just need to remember that at the end of the day, I want someone who wants me exactly as I am.

Does anyone have any interesting stories about an illness and dating? It doesn't have to be about CMT. If so, post them in the comments! Also, please subscribe! It gives me motivation to write here! :)

3 comments:

  1. Hi.,I m from Norway and have a daughter with cmt4c,

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    1. Hi Sylvia! Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my posts! Please subscribe!

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  2. Hi Joe! So excited to find your blog! I also have CMT, and live in Utah. In response to your post...I eventually just started being upfront and honest about my CMT when I was dating. I found it too hard to keep the secret, and that was an easy way to weed out the superficial people right off the bat. When I met my husband (online) I told him about it before we even met, and he took it upon himself to do his own research about it and figure out if it was something he could possibly deal with. All before our first date! We've now been together for 7+ years! I get that it's easier said than done, but you have nothing to be ashamed about! Good luck!

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