Obligatory New Years Post

Hello everyone!

I wanted to thank everyone for continuing to follow my blog. It truly does mean a lot to me for people to take an interest in my life and in what I have to say.

So what do I want to do differently in the new year? The biggest thing is that I want to be myself. There have been things in my life I felt like I've needed to hide from the world. One of those is CMT. I'm really not sure how I feel like I've been hiding it, because everyone can see it and it's quite obvious, but I guess I'll just try to be more open with it.

Next is the fact that this year is the year where I will have to "grow up" significantly. In May, I will graduate and move on to grad school and I will probably have to buy a new car soon as the one that parents gave me is on its last leg. It's crazy to see my undergrad friends picking jobs, some close to home and some halfway across the world. It's kinda scary actually. I'm certainly not saying anything profound here, but it is all new for me. And this is just scratching the surface.

And then there is the fear that I hold in my heart about my CMT. I've had surgery on one foot and it has been such a remarkable change in my life. I'm so excited to have surgery on the other foot as soon as time permits, but I am still terrified for the future. CMT is so unpredictable that I really have no way to picture the future of my life. Will my mobility suddenly get worse? Or will the damage stop and I'll stay exactly how I am for the rest of my life?

At the same time, I always need to remind myself, and maybe you need reminded of this as well, but CMT does not define our lives. I continue to believe that I will do great things despite the fact I can't run, can't climb mountains, and can't dance to save my life.

So in closing, I want to wish anyone reading this a Happy New Year. I hope for the best for all of you in every aspect of your life, especially your health. And if you ever want to take advice from a very unwise, naïve, college kid, hear this: be honest with people. Call someone you trust and tell them the deepest, darkest secret. It is so hard to do, but you will be surprised how well people react. I was.

Happy New Year!

Joey

Surgery and Dating

I'm mad at myself. I was one of those people. I'm talking about the people who start a blog, post twice, and never return. For those of you who read this, I promise that I will actually try to keep this going. I really have a lot to say (I don't ever shut up, even when I should) it's just that finding the motivation to write it all down is somewhat tough. As I said in a previous post, CMT is part of my life, but does not define me. I don't want this to be a medical blog, but rather something about my life for anyone who cares to read.

First things first, I had surgery the other day on my left foot. The surgeon cut the tendons in my four smaller toes to get them to lay down flat. Compared to the other surgery I had previously, this recovery is quite benign. For those of you considering something to straighten your toes, I highly recommend it.

Now for the fun part, for those of you who've had surgery before, or those of you who wear AFOs, this can present particularly interesting challenges in the dating world. Why is it that I don't meet anyone until I have to wear a nice, sexy, post-op Velcro shoe? I certainly wouldn't say I'm super fashionable, but I'd like to say I dress myself well. This shoe is really cramping my style. Anyway, so I told my date that I had surgery, but not that I have a degenerative neurological condition. I never know quite how to say it to someone without sounding...strange. I don't want them to think I'm dying or something. It drives me crazy. But anyway, I will hand it to my date for actually looking at me, instead of my feet when we met. I kinda like them, especially for that.

As a side note, it drives me up the wall when I meet someone and they stare at my feet instead of looking at me. Yes, my feet are strange, but damnit, I'm up here. Please look at me when we are talking. Okay, rant over.

So moving on, I've gone on a few more dates with this person and I'm kind of in a tricky situation. They obviously know I am walking a little strangely because I have a fabulous post-op shoe, but how exactly do I tell them that even when I'm back in normal shoes, I will still walk strangely? I mean, does it really matter? Probably not, but I feel like I'm kind of participating in a bait-and-switch. I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting, and I certainly don't want to be with someone if they can't look past something I have no control over, but I still feel like I need to say something. The struggle is real.

I guess I just need to remember that at the end of the day, I want someone who wants me exactly as I am.

Does anyone have any interesting stories about an illness and dating? It doesn't have to be about CMT. If so, post them in the comments! Also, please subscribe! It gives me motivation to write here! :)